The Monster Weekly

There’s a light and there’s a dark inside of me
There’s a quiet and a kind and a cruel
There’s a frightened and a brave inside of me
There’s a king and a pauper and a fool

Mama, there’s a monster, he’s tearing up the place!
He broke the kitchen window and he cracked your grandma’s vase.
I’ve seen him with my own two eyes, I’ve actually SEEN his face,
And I think the things he’s doing are a shame and a disgrace.

I’ll tell you a story,
I’ll sing you a song–
A tale of this life that I’ve lived for so long.

Simple Sybil snickered, thinking “I know what I’ll do!
I’ll fill the doorknobs with an extra-strong and sticky glue.
It’s gonna be an awesome prank!
They’ll pull and pry and tug and yank,
But it will be impossible for them to travel through.”

It’s no wonder that monsters take up residence beneath beds.
A dark den of dust bunnies
With forgotten smelly socks,
With scattered hair pins,
With half-chewed pen caps–
It’s a cozy life for a monster.
For most monsters.

Come sit a smack
At the Monster Shack
Come have yourself a real good time

Delilah wanted to be the first monster astronaut.
To boldly go where no monster had gone before.

To be an astronaut, she thought, you had to know about stars and planets.
You had to like bubble gum machines enough to wear one on your head.
You had to be exceptionally courageous.
Delilah met all of these requirements. But there was one more:

“You have to be human, Delilah,” said her dad.

It didn’t matter that he had been assigned to the biggest house on the block.  Or that the family he lived with had ten kids to scare.  Greedy Carlisle always wanted other monsters’ children.

He’d sneak into the scene of another monster’s scare, snatch up the victim, and scream, “MINE!”