The Monster Weekly

It’s no wonder that monsters take up residence beneath beds.
A dark den of dust bunnies
With forgotten smelly socks,
With scattered hair pins,
With half-chewed pen caps–
It’s a cozy life for a monster.
For most monsters.

But there is a monster unlike other monsters.
An unintentionally terrifying monster,
Who craves something more,
Something that can only be found above the mattress.

This monster sneaks out from under the bed,
Slithers his way up to your scalp,
Hovers his giant nose above yours,
And breathes in the delectable stench of your morning breath.

He can’t get enough.
That nasty hotdog-ish yogurty stink that emanates from your mouth
As you dream your final dreams before waking up–
That repellant rotten odor that keeps friends and family at bay
Until you finally brush your teeth and mouthwash rinses it away–
Each exhalation is a dream-come-true for this monster.

He doesn’t want to scare you
And he certainly doesn’t want to disturb your sleep.
He delicately twirls his bony fingers through your hair,
And hums a quiet monster lullaby–
All the while inhaling your putrid emissions.

Then in the morning moment when you begin to stir,
He sneaks out of your bed and back below,
Back to the broken toys, missing pennies, and candy bar wrappers,
Waiting for the day to pass,
Until a tired, weary, worn-out you settles to slumber again…