The Monster Weekly

Mama, there’s a monster, he’s tearing up the place!
He broke the kitchen window and he cracked your grandma’s vase.
I’ve seen him with my own two eyes, I’ve actually SEEN his face,
And I think the things he’s doing are a shame and a disgrace.

He’s the one who put spaghetti in your Sunday hat.
He’s the one who urinated on the bathroom mat.
He’s the one who’s acting like a pest and like a brat.
And he’s the one, yes, HE’S the one, who tried to mail the cat!

Mama, there’s a monster, you simply must believe!
He’s more destructive and disruptive than you can conceive!
Worst of all, above all else- my personal pet peeve-
Is that he’ll do his dirty deeds and then he’ll up and leave!

He’s the one who smeared the roasted chicken on the floor.
He’s the one destroying all your beautiful décor.
He’s the one responsible for all this grime and gore.
He’s done so many awful things and surely he’ll do more!

Mama, it’s a monster!  How dare you disagree?!
Cross my heart and hope to die! I swear! I guarantee!
Why these accusations?  What’s with the third degree?
I can’t believe that my own mother thinks the monster’s ME!