Roberto Mascara, a matinee monster idol
(inspired and named by Maxfield Ordman)
Roberto Mascara, a monSTAR of a name!
Roberto Mascara, you’re the picture of fame!
With your sky-scraping forehead and sinewy frame,
You outshine the sun and set fire to flame.
I first saw you in “Stolen” –you lit up the screen
In your top hat and tails, so lithe and so lean.
You secretly stole my breath in each scene
With the spellbinding spin of a Fred or a Gene.
Next came “Secretos” and oh, la, la–
How you swiveled those hips with each cha-cha-cha!
It’s no wonder you charmed las tres monjitas!
You’re exactly the opposite of blah-blah-blah!
But “Kissing the Wind” was my favorite, of course
As you rode through each town on your elegant horse.
You danced your bolero with such power and force
Leaving all of your rivals in dust and remorse.
Roberto Mascara, do you know what you do?
You make my soul sing; you make my heart coo.
If we met, do you think that you might have a clue,
That in all of this world I’m the one meant for you?