The Monster Weekly

Crandall was not a particularly gracious monster.
More often than not, he was unmistakably rude.
“Uuuuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhh…..Nothing is good enough in this paltry little world.”

Once a year though, Crandall D. Monster was uncharacteristically appreciative,
And it just so happened to coincide with the time of year when American families gathered to give thanks.
The fourth Thursday in November was a day of overwhelming anticipation for Crandall.
All he could think about was…

That unbelievable gelatinous treat,
All stuck in a can so sugary sweet.
Crandall, the crabby, felt light on his feet,
But it wasn’t because it was something to eat–NOOOOO!

Cranberry sauce was the wonder slime–
A monster’s treasure most sublime!
That gloppy and globulous gourmet grime
Made Thanksgiving Crandall’s favorite time.

Ideal for writing on mirrors,
Indispensable for slipping into shower pipes,
Incredible for simply gooping on one’s face–

It was PERFECT in every possible way.

So, year after year, when the turkeys were devoured and the clocks struck midnight, Crandall would call all of the local supermarket managers and arrange to collect as many unsold cases of the cranberry concoction as he could.

He’d spend hours arranging the cans, hiding them in the crawl space under the stairs and in the attic next to the old dance costumes.

Then he’d draw himself a bath, crack open a can, and smile widely.
And gratefully.